5 Common Regrets to Avoid

Happy Tips Tuesday everyone! Today’s Tips Tuesday comes from Tiny Buddha.

There are so many wonderful insights in this article. The 5 common regrets offer us tips on how to live a life of meaning, joy, satisfaction…so that ultimately in our twilight years, we are surrounded by many wonderful memories, instead of regrets.

Without further adieu, here are the 5 tips:

1. I wish I’d experienced more.

Upon reflection, many of my fellow rehab patients regretted not having experienced more, and vowed to do so once they “got out.” The experiences ranged from various things to do, see, or hear, but the most common was the regret at having not traveled more.

The sad irony was that many patients, like me, would be leaving the hospital in a wheelchair or with restricted movement. So experiencing more travel would not be an option.

Resolution: From now on I’m going to experience more.

2. I wish I’d listened more.

Many patients regretted not listening more to the advice of their doctor, family members, or well-meaning friends. I remember one larger woman who recalled her doctor advising her to lose weight. At the time, she believed he was “fat shaming” her and had not listened, until she had a resulting stroke.

One man regretted not having listened to his “nagging” family who had warned him against frequently poor diet choices. Diabetes took his leg and left him with regret.

Resolution: From now on I’m going to listen more.

3. I wish I hadn’t been so afraid to fail.

With their second chance at life, many patients were prepared to step out of their comfort zones in the future. Some patients had been so close to death (arguably the ultimate failure) that they no longer feared so many little failures in their day, such as failing to live up to other people’s expectations.

Resolution: From now on I won’t fear failure.

4. I wish I’d stood up for myself more.

Patients regretted not having voiced their opinions more frequently and stood up for themselves and their values or beliefs. Some had spent years in unhappy relationships or unfulfilling work, and it was only their hospitalization that had been their catalyst for change.

Resolution: From now on I’ll stand up for myself more.

5. I wish I hadn’t waited so long to…

The regret of procrastination was also common, and something that resonated with me. Patients said that they wished they’d done a certain something sooner—pick up the phone, seen the doctor, reunite with a friend… The list went on.

Resolution: From now on I’m going to stop waiting and start doing!

There were many similarities between the regrets of the dying and the regrets of the living.

However, the key difference was that my fellow patients and I all had an opportunity to take action on our regrets of the past and ensure they would not be regrets of the future.

Regrets are a very tricky thing. In some cases, regrets are wonderful teachers, giving us little signs on the road of life as to what NOT to do. This knowledge allows us to avoid problems in the future.

But the biggest danger of regrets are that in some cases, they cannot be undone. Sometimes it may be too late to change something. Sometimes, the window of opportunity is gone. The significance of regret, when it is too late, is a feeling that is beyond measure. There are very few things in life that we cannot change or undo or redeem. But regrets sometimes are the black hole to these.

Keep your mind and eyes open for the things in life that you may regret. Try to avoid them wherever possible by taking action, and keeping the insights above in mind.

A life without regret, is a life lived well.

The Road to Success

Happy Fun Friday everyone! Take a look at this:

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Absolutely brilliant. This is of course, the truth when it comes to “the road to success”. Rarely is the road a binary choice where one path leads to success, or one leads to failure. Success is a series of decisions, a series of tasks, a series of thoughts. Success is a HABIT, and in order to get to that habit, you have to overcome the many, MANY stumbling blocks in your way.

Just because we have failed in one thing, does not mean that we have FAILED. In fact the only time that we have failed is when we give up permanently. That’s the end of one road. And even then, that may not be a complete failure for this simple reason: like driving, sometimes we have to take detours, and sometimes we get lost. So when we realize we’ve been going down the wrong path, giving up that path hopefully means we will find a better path to get to where we need to.

Success is rarely something that ‘just happens’. You can expect many bumps and bruises and obstacles along the way. Overcoming them, learning from them, growing from them, is what makes us successful.

Happy Friday!

Window 1140 – Speak what is in your heart

Happy Wallpaper Wednesday! Today, I’m going to be referring to a wonderful blog called “A Window of Wisdom”. Today’s window really resonated with me for two main reasons:

1. We don’t listen to the ‘voice’ in our heart. I would call that voice our intuition.It can be an excellent guide. Often times, however, we are stuck overpowering this voice with our constant internal chatter. Our thoughts are swirling like a hurricane, with seemingly no way out. But by taking a deep breath, remaining in the moment, and acknowledging this chatter, and maybe even dialogue with it, we can hope to hear our intuition as well.

2. And sometimes, the only way to acknowledge our intuition, the voice in our hearts, is to externalize it, share it with those closest to us. Bottling up feelings is never a good thing. They have to either be processed, or expressed, otherwise we run the risk of ‘exploding’ exactly as this post suggests.

Happy Wallpaper “Window of Wisdom” Wednesday!

A Window Of Wisdom

imagesF40RELS0Feelings not expressed leads to an implosion which explodes in areas that have nothing to do with what is bothering us.

~ WOW ~ 

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What to do When You Make a Mistake

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Happy Tuesday everyone! For today’s Tips Tuesday, I am linking an image that I saw uploaded on imgur. Very much like yesterday’s mantra about forgiveness, here is an excellent series of steps that can be taken to unanchor yourself from the past particularly if you’ve made a mistake. Here are my thoughts to thus wonderful list of tips.

1. It’s important to recognize what happened and allow yourself to feel what you feel. Suppressing emotions often do results in a larger issue down the road. Letting yourself feel, acknowledge the feeling by recognizing it, and letting it flow through you for a few minutes is a good way to let the emotion out so you don’t have to deal with it later.

2. Now that you’ve felt the emotion, take a step back and see if there is anything you can do. Sometimes, a mistake can be easily corrected (that’s what erasers and the backspace button are for!). Explore your options to undo what mistake was made. Of course, sometimes this may not be possible. It’s important to recognize this as a possibility as well. Where nothing can be done about it, then ask yourself what you can do in the future to prevent that mistake from happening. All mistakes can be a learning exercise, or can help you in the future even if it can’t help you in the here and now. If neither of these possibilities are available, then move on to step 3.

3. Take a deep breath. Take several deep breaths if you need to. This not only sends some much needed oxygen to your brain, but also helps clear your mind. With each exhale, imagine the problem leaving for the time being, the mistake and the baggage it may carry departing, leaving you lighter, and more able to accept any lessons or opportunities for correction if available.

4. Forgive yourself. See yesterday’s entry. Remember that mistakes do happen. To err is to be human and no matter how hard we try, we will all inevitably make mistakes. But how we choose to react to those mistakes, how long we dwell on them, how we correct them, how we learn from them, will set the tone for the mistake itself.

And so there you have it! Remember these 4 steps the next time a mistake happens. You’ll see how mistakes aren’t an enemy, but can in fact be valuable teachers, guiding us through life.

I Will Forgive Myself

Happy Monday everyone! Today’s Monday Mantra is this: “I will forgive myself.

The past can be a very tricky thing. Our memories create moments of nostalgia, heartbreak, longing; just about every emotion you can imagine on the spectrum. We can look back with rose coloured glasses, or with darker glasses depending on our mindset at the time.

But the past has already happened. The past has gone, never again to be accessed by us. It is something that can never be changed. And this is why as wonderful as the past can be in giving us nostalgia, or as wise as it can be as a teacher teaching us about what not to do, it is important to make sure that we do not linger there for too long.

Our minds have a tendency to push us back to the past. We may obsess and relive the things we did wrong, or look at our own past with critical eyes. We tell ourselves we could have done better, or we should have done this differently, and this begins the weighted process of regret. Instead of moving forward, we remain anchored to a past that we cannot change.

Today’s mantra reminds us that as useful an ally it can be, we must not linger too much in the past. When we are looking back so critically, it’s important to pause and realize that we did the best that we could given the circumstances. Hindsight in 20/20 after all, and so we must learn and let go. To dwell on the past, to be weighted down by it, will restrict our growth and development.

Forgive yourself for having done what you did (or didn’t do), learn from it, and ensure that the lessons of the past are carried forward as tools, rather than as weights.

There is so much in the past. But there is even more in the present. Forgive yourself by recognizing that there is nothing you can do to change things. Forgive yourself by realizing that you did the best that you could do given the circumstances, and that you will do your best to be better prepared in the future. Take the moment of regret you may feel, forgive yourself, and then let it teach you what you need to succeed in your future.

The past is already set in stone. But the future, remains to be written. How will you write your future? Start by forgiving your past self…

Happy Monday!

F*ck That!

Happy Fun Friday! The work week is almost over, which means its time for a little bit of fun!

“Gradually, let the horse shit of the external world fade from your awareness. If you find your mind wandering to other thoughts, don’t let it concern you. Just acknowledge that all that shit is fucking bullshit.”

Insightful, and hilarious. Check out this incredibly funny guided meditation. Hopefully it’ll make you smile the way it made me 🙂

F*ck That! A Guided Meditation

 

Reclaim Your Childhood – Part 1

Happy Thursday everyone! Today’s truth hit me like a ton of bricks several days ago. I was on the subway when an excited 3 year old boarded with her parents. She was looking around her, at the people, at the lights, at the sights, at the sounds, and there was a giant grin on her face.

“Is this her first time riding the subway?” I asked.

“No! We do this every morning!” her mother replied.

Every morning…And yet, here she was, viewing the subway ride with this sense of awe, wonder, and excitement.

Such a chilling contrast to the others on the subway (maybe even myself) who looked like we were tired, bored, less than enthused, and dull.

Somewhere along the way, we lose our childlike wonder. We lose the ability to look around the world with great appreciation. We lose the ability to see things we’ve seen before with awe and wonder, the way that child did.

As children, EVERYTHING is new. We are little input machines, taking in the world like a sponge. As time goes on, the values and beliefs of our environment seem to solidify and crystallize within us. Rather than ask questions, we slowly learn to accept things as they are. Rather than experience awe in the here and now, we move from one task to another, in a series of chore-like daily activities.

-Wake up, brush teeth, have breakfast, get dressed, go to work, work, have lunch, work more, come home, make dinner, go to bed. Routine, repeat…and yet we really miss out on the wonder all around us.

Children are taught to accept and believe. When I say we “lose the ability”, I really mean it: looking at the world with child like wonder is a skill, an ability, one we know naturally when we’re born, and lose as time passes. But we can learn the ability once again…and I think the key to doing it, is mindfulness.

Look around you right now. Where are you? What do you see? What do you smell? What do you feel? Now pause on the fact that you can even experience these things. Maybe you’re in an office reading this: take a moment to listen to the sounds of people coming and going, each person a busy little ant in a busy world. What hopes and dreams do these people have?

Or maybe you’re at home. It’s quiet. There’s the slight sound of a hum in the air. Maybe the sun is coming through the window. Maybe it’s raining. Pause. Let your senses fill you up. You can see, smell, hear, touch, taste. Five different avenues to explore the world with childlike wonder.

Take a moment to pause now. Explore the world for 5 minutes with your senses. The world hasn’t changed nearly as much as we have. There is so much beauty and wonder to experience. We just need to look at the world through our childhood lenses.

Reclaim your childhood. Experience the world with child-like wonder and awe.

Next Thursday, I will talk about how the world shapes our perspectives and philosophies…and how keeping an open mind can be a tool for experiencing life with child-like wonder.

HAPPY THURSDAY!